Posts from @tikatarot

When the Rehearsal Began to Resemble the Life I Imagined

tikatarot — Fri, 23 Oct 2026 13:35:09 GMT

I step outside my own process, entering in another unfamiliar territory, and discover what I carry that the new context could never have predicted, I step outside my own process, feeling the freedom of becoming someone else for a moment, only to meet parts of myself the familiar conditions had kept protected in place, I step outside my own process, making what I would never have made before and finding a door in my work that familiarity had quietly kept closed, I step outside my own process, what might the version of me I have not yet become, and can I give her room to begin before I know who she will be, I step outside my own process, not to abandon it but to let it become something that working harder within my old boundaries could never have made possible…I change the stakes, imagining that this may be the last version I am allowed to make, and discover what the possibility of no second chance could releases in me, I change the stakes, telling myself the work is only a rehearsal, and find that the freedom to fail sometimes brings me closer to the truth than the pressure to always get it right and perfect, I change the stakes, discovering that what I bring to the work changes with what I believe is at risk and what I allow myself to lose beyond what I can create, I change the stakes, what am I protecting by keeping them where they are, and what might the work reveal if I pushed or lowered them instead, I change the stakes, the work changes with them teaching me the difference between making something that must prove itself and making something beyond my own limits…I work in the presence of another, feeling how being watched can sharpen my attention and bring a presence that my solitude asks of me, I work in the presence of another, feeling the urge to perform give way to something more honest when I stop managing how the making appears, I work in the presence of another, discovering a standard I had not held myself to, not from wanting to impress but from being fully authentic, I work in the presence of another, when did I last let someone witness my process, how did my attention change when I was no longer my only audience, I work in the presence of another, I begin to see how boundaries can protect my habits as easily as it protects my focus, allowing the work not to settle for less than I might become…I give the work an image, when the language or concept can go no further, and find a direction that the work’s with my own logic could not reveal, I give the work an image, discover a different set of creative muscles when the familiar ones have grown tired from pushing against the same wall, I give the work an image, not to tell me what to make but to replace the constraint that has stopped working with one that lets the creative work move again, I give the work an image, what scene or story inside me carries enough feeling to draw this work somewhere my own logic cannot explain either, I give the work an image, reminding me that I do not need to know how every door will open but I need to imagine beyond what I can see, because the limits of my understanding are not the limits of what is possible…Watchwords: The door back was inside the work I'd never make, The rehearsal version closer to the real thing, Privacy allowing the work to settle for less, The image freed me from what direct effort couldn't, Stopped needing to understand the mechanism to trust it...

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

The Familiarity Became the Wall

tikatarot — Thu, 22 Oct 2026 13:57:00 GMT

I have been doing the same thing the same way, long enough that it feels like mastery that may actually be the beginning of quietly disappearing, I have been doing the same thing the same way, until I noticed the flatness in what I have been making, technically fine but missing the charge that once required all of me, I have been doing the same thing the same way, calling the sameness consistence and discipline, while something alive has slowly been replaced by something reliable, I have been doing the same thing the same way, when did showing up stop becoming a routine I simply follow, when did I begin producing something different from choosing, I have been doing the same thing the same way, the sameness has protected me from something I was unwilling to face, that protection has cost the work its aliveness…I have hit a dead end, staying on the near side and repeating the same motions more carefully, only to meet the same wall in a more polished form, I have hit a dead end, calling it a problem of effort and applying the same approach harder, then wondering why more effort produced the same limit all over again, I have hit a dead end, learned that sometimes the smallest possible task is enough, accepting that as enough may be one of the hardest forms of creative honesty, I have hit a dead end, what’s the smallest, honest task I can commit to today that might revive the channel without pretending I have access to the entire content, I have hit a dead end, sometimes moving forward has had nothing to do with increasing effort but everything to do with changing the variable I kept insisting what cannot be fixed…I have come to realize that I used to have less, the version of my life with fewer things actually contained more things that I hadn’t noticed losing as more things arrived, I have come to realize what I now take for granted once felt like abundance, felt the strange realization that abundance can quietly become baseline, I have come to realize what I once called “enough”, I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, but I’m also uneasy about how much I now carry as weight rather than ground, I have remembered what I used to need, what would I discover about what is truly necessary if I returned for a season to conditions closer to where I began, I have remembered what I used to survive on, found that the memory was not only deprivation but focus, and a necessity-driven aliveness that comfort can slowly dilute…I modified one condition, while keeping everything else unchanged and observed the work shift in a manner that greater effort within the previous condition could never achieve, I modified one condition, feeling disoriented at first, then noticing the kind of attention that arrives when familiarity can no longer carry me, I modified one condition, and discovered that the shift altered my relationship with the material in ways that deliberate effort could not still repeating what I had already tried, I modified one condition, what in my work has become so fixed that I no longer experience it as a condition but as the only way the work can exist, I modified one condition and found the work alive again, the smallest change had disturbed something that repetition had buried, reminding me that sometimes what feels impossible only needs the pattern to change…Watchwords: The reliable replaced the alive and I kept going, The wall polished by harder effort but still the wall, The baseline crept until I forgot it had moved, Disorientation that required all of me not just part, Any change was the thing the sameness made impossible

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

Clarity on the Other Side of Choosing

tikatarot — Wed, 21 Oct 2026 14:19:36 GMT

I rearrange the conditions, moving things, replacing tools, changing the order, and convincing myself that preparation is progress, I rearrange the conditions, preparing for a beginning lets me feel possibility without discovering whether I can actually do the difficult part, I rearrange the conditions, telling myself the room, timing, or materials are wrong when what I really want is a version of the work that asks less of me, I rearrange the conditions, how often have I changed everything around the task because I did not want to face what the task was asking me to change within myself, I rearrange the conditions, but the reality is I cannot rearrange my way out of every uncomfortable truth…I mistake movement for momentum, adjusting details because they respond immediately while the decision that matters remains untouched, I mistake movement for momentum, polishing the opening before I know what I am saying, gathering more when I already have enough, I mistake movement for momentum, every adjustment gives me a little control while the work waits for the one thing, my willingness to choose, I mistake movement for momentum, what am I still postponing beneath all this activity, and what would happen if I stopped long enough to face it, I mistake movement for momentum, perhaps I do not need a more perfect beginning but the courage to accept the uncertainty of choosing the one…I change the conditions, knowing a different room, material can sometimes loosen a thought that has become too familiar, I change the conditions, I am learning that the right conditions cannot remove every resistance before I am willing to meet every circumstance, I change the conditions, learning to tell the difference between an experiment that opens a door and a distraction that keeps me walking around unending loops, I change the conditions, can I know when a new approach is giving the work fresh air and when I am simply looking for another reason not to enter my self-discovery phase, I change the conditions, but not the direction every time the work asks me to stay, adapting does not always mean abandoning the path—it can mean finding a better way to keep walking it…I begin before I am certain, confidence may not arrive before the decision but grow from living with what I chose, I begin before I am certain, knowing no kind of perfect arrangement can protect every hour from disappointment, I begin before I am certain, keeping what is needed, removing what does not, and working with the present conditions regardless, I begin before I am certain, what could move forward if I stopped waiting for permission from a future version of myself who is always never certain, I begin before I am certain, sometimes the clarity I keep waiting for is waiting on the other side of my decision, certainty is not always what gives me the courage to move; sometimes moving is what finally gives me clarity…Watchwords: Movement is not always momentum Preparation can become another delay Change what helps you see Stop negotiating with imperfect conditions Clarity on the other side of choosing

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

Clarity on the Other Side of Choosing

tikatarot — Tue, 20 Oct 2026 14:53:51 GMT

I keep noticing how I rearrange the conditions around my creative work, moving things from one place to another, changing the tools, changing the order, convincing myself that the next adjustment will finally make it easier to begin, I keep noticing how preparation can feel like progress when it lets me experience the possibility of movement without asking me to discover whether I can actually take the difficult step without even noticing the hard work, I keep noticing how I blame the room, the timing, the materials, when sometimes what I really want is a version of the work that asks less of me than the one sitting unfinished, one phrase unexplained, one art unbothered, I keep noticing how often I change everything around the task because admitting what the task is asking of me feels more uncomfortable than changing the task itself, changing the timing itself or changing the process itself, I keep noticing how comfortable surroundings can soften the edges of resistance, but cannot rearrange me out of every uncomfortable truth that every work needs discomfort, pain and uncertainty…I catch myself believing that if I prepare one more thing, I will finally feel ready enough to begin to discover what the deep work really needed to become until I can become fully satisfied and fulfilled with the work, I catch myself polishing the opening before I know what I am trying to say, organizing the notes before I understand the question, gathering more references when I already have enough to take the first step, I catch myself enjoying these small adjustments because they give me something I can control while the larger decision remains untouched beneath them and I run away what the real work really needs, I catch myself wondering what I am still postponing underneath all this activity, and whether I am preparing because the work needs it or because choosing would make the uncertainty real, I catch myself realizing that perhaps I do not need a more perfect beginning, only the courage to enter an imperfect one where I still need to maintain consistency even without bare motivation left…I want to remember that changing my surroundings can still be a beautiful way of loosening what has become too familiar, a different room, a different hour, a different material, a different way of seeing things clearly, I want to remember that an experiment can open a window without becoming another door I use to leave the room, without another task to finish, and without having a single tangible thing to hold on to the sky for proof of bare existence, I want to remember that not every change has to remove resistance, because sometimes its only gift is showing me something I could no longer see from the place where I had become accustomed to first standing, I want to remember to ask whether I am changing the conditions because I have discovered another way to see, or because staying with the work has begun asking too much of me despite the goal being clearly written to begin with, I want to remember that I can change the way I approach the work without abandoning the part of me that knows where I am trying to go, where I am heading, and the path to take whenever I feel lost despite the purpose I’m aware of…I am beginning to understand that confidence may not be waiting somewhere before the decision, but may grow quietly from making the decision and remaining long enough to discover what it asks of me, I am beginning to understand that no certain arrangement can protect me from every wrong turn, no preparation can remove disappointment, and no amount of adjusting can make uncertainty disappear, I am beginning to understand that I can work with what is actually here, keeping what helps, releasing what does not, and letting imperfect conditions become part of the making as I travel to the most boring part of work itself, I am beginning to understand that perhaps I have been waiting for a future version of myself who never doubts, who never gives up, and never easily bothered by pain, when the work only needs the present version of me to choose what I am destined to become, I am beginning to understand that the clarity I keep waiting for may not be something I need to find before I decide, but something I allow to emerge by deciding, because sometimes the courage to move is not what comes after clarity—it is what creates it…Watchwords: Movement is not always momentum Preparation can become another delay Change what helps you see Stop negotiating with imperfect conditions Clarity on the other side of choosing

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When Curiosity No Longer Has to Prove Itself

tikatarot — Mon, 19 Oct 2026 13:44:21 GMT

I have noticed how quickly I lose interest when every attempt must justify the time I spend on it, as though curiosity has to submit a reason before it earns a place in my day, I have noticed how I measure an idea by whether it can become useful, whether it can be finished, or whether I will have something concrete to point to when someone asks, I have noticed how easily I forget that some of my most meaningful discoveries began as things I could not explain, those little detours that seemed unproductive, I have noticed how I keep asking whether an interest is worth following before I have stayed with it long enough to know what it might reveal, I have noticed how much I miss the kind of attention that can remain with a question simply because something inside me keeps calling me back…I sometimes want to make something without deciding where it belongs, without promising that it will become a finished piece, without calculating how it might eventually be received, I sometimes want to follow an imagination that makes no immediate sense, or spend an afternoon exploring something that may never become more than a page I keep to myself, I sometimes I catch myself looking for proof that the time was worthwhile, as though an experience needs to leave behind something visible before I am allowed to call it valuable, I sometimes wonder if I can make an hour count even when there’s nothing remarkable to show for it, when I’ve worked hard for it, I sometimes remember that curiosity does not need to know where it is going before it deserves to be followed…I feel a particular pressure when I turn every interest into an obligation, when something I once freely begins carrying expectations, the fear that I might be wasting what I started, I feel myself becoming so occupied with making the effort worthwhile that I leave almost no room for the unexpected thing that could have made it worthwhile, I feel myself asking what the work will give me, while forgetting to notice what happens to my attention when I stop demanding that it give me anything at all, I feel myself wanting an answer before the question had enough time to become something deeper, something worth being curious about, I feel myself losing the pleasure of discovery whenever I insist that everything I discover must eventually become useful along the way…I am beginning to understand enough differently, not as the point where I stop reaching, but as the place where I stop making every moment prove that it deserved to exist, I am beginning to realize that I can desire a completed work without viewing every incomplete attempt always a wasted effort, I am beginning to understand that ambition can live beside wandering, and discipline can exist without punishing every hour that refuses to produce something tangible, I am beginning to wonder what could emerge if I explored without deciding beforehand what the exploration or what label it must be worth, I am beginning to make room for the discoveries that arrive without a receipt, because not everything that enriches my life knows how to prove its value…Watchwords: Curiosity without a justification Let the question remain open Not every hour needs a result Ambition without constant measurement Discoveries that arrive without a receipt

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

The Moment Someone Else Can See the Work

tikatarot — Sun, 18 Oct 2026 15:30:36 GMT

I notice a different kind of hesitation when I imagine someone reading what I have made before I am ready to explain, I notice how I begin hearing every sentence through another person’s ears, wondering which parts will be understood and which parts will reveal uncertainty, I notice how I call it protecting the work from premature judgment, when sometimes I am protecting the version of myself that still wants to appear capable, I notice how I wonder whether I fear being misunderstood, or whether I fear someone seeing exactly where I am still struggling, I notice how I keep the pages close enough to change, far enough away that nobody can tell me what they actually need…I begin arranging my thoughts differently when I imagine another person entering the process I’m protecting, I begin trimming the strange parts before I have given them enough time to become meaningful, I begin choosing the words that sound easier to approve, even when they are not the words that feel most honest to me, I begin wondering whether I can let someone see the unfinished work without immediately measuring myself through anyone’s reaction, I begin learning that being seen does not require me to turn the work into something important…I have days when I need another set of eyes, I have been standing too close to the work for too long I haven’t notice where growth requires me focus, I have days when every sentence begins to feel inevitable, even when something inside it has quietly stopped breathing for change, I have days when another person can notice the missing connection, or the possibility I dismissed because it did not resemble what I first imagined, I have days when I ask myself whether I can hear an observation without immediately defending my initial choice, I have days when I realize I may not need someone to solve what feels stuck, only to show me where I stopped looking into…I am learning that sharing the work does not mean surrendering my judgment, I am learning that I can listen without obeying every suggestion, consider another point of view without abandoning what feels true to me, I am learning that the response that unsettles me may sometimes be more useful than the one that makes me feel fulfilled, I am learning to ask whether I can receive what is useful without carrying every opinion to the thing I must become, I am learning that I do not have to be untouched by what others see, only grounded enough to remember that their eyes may reveal something I cannot see for myself, but they do not get to decide what I am capable of becoming.Watchwords: Let the unfinished work be seen Understanding is not the same as safety Another set of eyes, another possibility Listen without surrendering your judgment Let disagreement reveal what matters

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

Somewhere The Work Can Breathe

tikatarot — Sat, 17 Oct 2026 11:22:18 GMT

I borrow another perspective, imagining the work through someone else’s eyes because I have been standing so close to it protecting myself from the discomfort of changing it, I borrow another perspective, letting myself explore a style or approach that feels unfamiliar even when that does not come naturally to me, I borrow another perspective, I have mistaken familiarity for knowing what I am capable of and I may never meet if I keep returning to the same choices, I borrow another perspective, what might I discover if I stopped insisting that the next attempt has to look like something I already know how to make, I borrow another perspective, the unfamiliar begins to offer possibilities that my habits could not show me…I change the meaning, approaching the same material with a different feeling, a different memory, or a different imagined audience, because the way I have been holding them has become too narrow, I change the meaning, allowing myself to feel strange while I try a new interpretation instead of dismissing it because it does not resemble the first intention I had when I began, I change the meaning, I know how easily I can become attached to the explanation and miss what the work might become if I let it speak from somewhere else, I change the meaning, can I let this piece surprise me without feeling that I have betrayed the reason I wanted to make it in the first place, I change the meaning, something familiar begins to feel unfamiliar enough for me to see it again…I leave some things out, giving the work less information, and more room for choices I could never have predicted if I had tried to control every detail before I even began, I leave some things out, the empty space unsettles me because I am used to believing that more direction will protect me from getting lost, I leave some things out, learning that I can sometimes hear what the work needs only after I stop filling every silence with another explanation, I leave some things out, what am I adding because the work truly needs it because I am afraid to leave the next decision open, I leave some things out, the space I feared begins to feel like somewhere the work can breathe…I let myself experiment, carrying forward what I have learned while accepting that I cannot know in advance bring me closer to the feeling I have been trying so hard to recover, I let myself experiment, I do not want my experience to become a set of familiar answers that keeps me from asking new questions whenever the work begins, I let myself experiment, even when the result is awkward or leads nowhere, because I am trying to loosen the belief that every attempt must justify itself by becoming something worth keeping, I let myself experiment, can I allow a failed attempt to remain an experience rather than turning it into evidence that I should not have tried, I let myself experiment,as I build the work becomes a place I can return to with curiosity instead of fear…Watchwords: The unfamiliar offers possibilities Something familiar begins to feel unfamiliar More room for choices Somewhere the work can breathe Curiosity instead of fear

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

Giving Something Room To Happen

tikatarot — Fri, 16 Oct 2026 15:06:18 GMT

I return to the work, after spending too long trying to force something from it and feeling the familiar disappointment arriving where I started, I return to the work, carrying the frustration of caring about what I am making while wondering if I have lost the feeling that made me begin, I return to the work, I do not want one difficult stretch to convince me the idea has nothing left to give but simply become too familiar with how I approach it, I return to the work, have I tried so hard to make this better that I have forgotten how to be curious with what interest me the most, I return to the work, I begin to wonder whether I need a different way of engaging with it rather than another demand for progress…I make the task smaller, the thought of finishing everything has become so heavy that even the daily work feels like too far I still have to go, I make the task smaller, staying with one task, one decision instead of measuring the distance between what exists and what I want to finish, I make the task smaller, even when part of me feels embarrassed that something once imagined needs to be reduced to something manageable, I make the task smaller, can I let one honest attempt be enough without turning it into another reason to judge how slowly I am moving, I make the task smaller, I discover that what once looked like a mountain was sometimes only a series of small things I had been trying to hold in my hands all at once…I change how I approach it, moving something, changing the place or time, and shifting the conditions that have made every attempt feel the same, I change how I approach it, persistence can become another kind of avoidance when I refuse to question whether my method still serves the work, I change how I approach it, uncertain whether a small adjustment will help but staying the same has not created the movement I keep asking for, I change how I approach it, what have I been repeating simply because it is familiar even though I know it is no longer bringing me closer to what I imagine to make, I change how I approach it, and I give myself permission to step away from the familiar way of doing things, than fearing is also like staying trapped in a pattern that keeps asking for the same…I remove the pressure, giving myself room to experiment without deciding whether it deserves a place in the initially imagined work, I remove the pressure, when every small exercise must prove its value before I begin, curiosity retreats behind the fear of wasting time or making something imperfect, I remove the pressure, allowing strange ideas and awkward beginnings to exist long enough to reveal what careful planning could not reach, I remove the pressure, can I try something without immediately asking whether it will work, whether it is useful, or whether anyone will understand why I even made it, I remove the pressure, I begin to feel the difference between making something happen and giving something room to naturally happen…Watchwords: A different way of meeting it One honest attempt The conditions that have made Uncertainty begins to feel better Giving something room to happen

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

To Keep Becoming Without Dismissing Who I Am Today

tikatarot — Thu, 15 Oct 2026 13:46:36 GMT

I remember when less was enough, when I came home to a small room, ate what I could afford, and still felt my life opening into something worth looking forward to, I remember when less was enough, before yesterday’s luxuries became today’s ordinary and I stopped noticing how far I had come because I kept looking toward what I lacked, I remember when less was enough, it unsettles me that the life I once would have treasured can now leave me feeling behind, even when nothing essential has been taken away, I remember when less was enough, when did I begin treating the comforts I enjoy as things I could no longer imagine living without as I continued experiencing it, I remember when less was enough, and I wonder how much of my dissatisfaction grew from becoming accustomed to what I once treasured…I notice what I keep wanting, when I have barely appreciated what I worked so hard to bring into my life before reaching for the next thing I believe will make me feel secure, I notice what I keep wanting, I have reached things I once dreamed of only to discover that satisfaction never stays as long as I expected and so short I can’t even notice, I notice what I keep wanting, part of me resists looking too closely because I have mistaken wanting more for proof that I am moving forward, not resting to feel your worth, I notice what I keep wanting, am I missing something I truly need or have I simply grown uncomfortable with the life I already have, I notice what I keep wanting, and I admit that some of my desires are harder to face when they reveal the parts of me, because seeing myself clearly means looking beyond the person I would like to believe I am…I look back at myself, remembering when small progress made me proud and a simple meal or a quiet room of my own could make an ordinary day feel generous to me, I look back at myself, wondering how I once found satisfaction in so little while having more now still leaves me feeling that something is missing in what I am now, I look back at myself, because I do not want to mistake becoming more capable for becoming someone who cannot appreciate anything until it is improved and complete, I look back at myself, what did I once enjoy freely that I now dismiss because it no longer feels impressive enough for the life I think I should have, I look back at myself, and I miss the part of me that could receive something with an open heart and I wonder when the possibility of something better became more powerful than the goodness of what was already mine…I learn what is enough, not by abandoning ambition or pretending comfort makes me ungrateful, but by noticing when desire makes the present feel smaller than it is, I learn what is enough, because I want to build a better life without treating the life I have as merely a place to endure until something better arrives, but a life I’m willing to enjoy, I learn what is enough without asking restlessness for permission, even when it tells me I should be further ahead, have more to prove, and keep reaching for a future that makes feel like it is never quite enough, I learn what is enough, can I appreciate where I am without fearing that contentment that being grateful for how far I have come will somehow make me less willing to discover how much further I can go, I learn what is enough, and I begin making room for ambition without asking gratitude to step aside, until I realize that I do not have to choose between becoming someone new and appreciating the life that has brought me this far…Watchwords: The comforts I once treasured the satisfaction does not stay I look back at myself the present feel smaller Ambition without losing gratitude

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*

The Same Single Motion That Was Always Mine

tikatarot — Wed, 14 Oct 2026 14:26:21 GMT

I am bringing all of myself to this, I have spent years trying to make myself coherent before entering the work, not realizing that the tidying was what kept it from coming alive, I am bringing all of myself to this, the work that reaches others most deeply is the work made from everything I have not fully understood, I am bringing all of myself to this, caring for the details without turning that care into control is a difference between making something honest and making something merely correct, What part of myself do I keep leaving out because I fear it will not belong, will not be understood, or will reveal more of me than I am ready to show, I am bringing all of myself to this, choosing in every line and every cut but being fully present in the work is not a declaration but a choice I keep making…I have something to share, not because it is polished or certain, but because it is genuinely mine, and that is what allows another person to feel less alone inside what I make, I have something to share, and sharing is neither performance nor proof but the necessary act of bringing into the world what no one else can bring in quite the same way, I have something to share, yet I keep dressing it in explanations and managing how it will be received, forgetting that the layers I add may prevent someone from meeting the truth, What would I share today if I trusted the unedited and undefended version of what I see and feel to become the mirror someone else might need, I have something to share, I am learning that its incompleteness and contradictions are not reasons to withhold it but part of the generosity the work keeps asking of me…I am part of a conversation that began before me and will continue after me, and my place in it is not to follow every direction but to show that another way is possible, I am part of a conversation, my particular way of seeing matters even when it differs from what everyone else in the room has decided is worth noticing, I am part of a conversation, what I have dismissed as too personal or too specific may be exactly what others need, because the personal is where the larger conversation begins, What am I carrying that I keep calling too small or too personal to share, what might happen if I simply offered it and let the conversation respond, I am part of a conversation, my contribution is not merely a point to prove but a way of seeing I cannot help but bring, that is not my limitation but what I have to offer…I grow by letting challenges reveal and making from what is most honestly mine, and in this season I am learning to recognize both as the work I was meant to be doing, I grow by letting challenges reveal what I have yet to develop and making reveal what I have carried without knowing, neither requiring me to be ready before I begin, I grow by letting challenges reveal what cannot always see, sometimes changing most deeply in seasons when nothing appears to move, and I am learning to trust what I know is shifting within me, What is growing in the quiet parts of me that are not ready to be seen, and am I tending them with the same care I give the work already visible to the world, I grow by letting challenges reveal what the most honest part of what I see and carry is, learning that growing, building, and making are one movement, leading me toward what has always been mine…Watchwords: The all-of-myself that kept the work fully alive, The personal is what the conversation is made of, Too personal to share was exactly what was needed, The inside reading trusted over the outside one, The same single motion that was always mine to go...

Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*

As and will always be reminding you to dream: *“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*